♥ Sunday, February 17, 2008
He left us today...The thoughts of the many moments we shared and the words he spoke to me before he passed away, intrigues and start to sour inside me. I broke down eventually after the startling sms Marcus sent to me at 1.36am, 17 Feb 2008 and announced his departure.It took me awhile to regain consciousness and grieved.I didnt have the chance to see you for the last time, so many I have to tell you but forbiddened.
Why do we have to believe in Eastern Beliefs???
My eyes are swollen, choking back with tears each time I think of you, its just too sudden for me to accept the reality...
Dear Uncle Francis,
though we only know each other for a year odd, and I'm only your son's girlfriend, you somehow treated me like your own daughter. I could feel the love you have for the family though you don't show, I could feel the pain you suffered when you were ill-strikened, I could feel your frustrations when you lost your strength, I saw your will-power to get well, to step out the house with much energy and effort during CNY for house visiting...
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Each step you took was tedious and you were struggling to catch your breath.
On the 2nd Day of Chinese New year I came to visit you and your family, I went to your room and you were there, glad to see me.. you even made my day when you greeted me,
"Hello Elsie! We've been expecting you to come over since yesterday!".
Your tiny and delicate body laid on the bed, obvious that you couldn't get up to wish me, so I bent over, held your hands, thanked and wished you a Happy New Year. Your eyes were tired, but glowing, your smile was genuine and pure..
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I remembered how Marc told me you were so reluctant to go over Aunt's place for dinner that day, but when that evening later on, I was surprised when you became so determine to get your body off the bed, with so much effort and strength you put in your every step, with alot of stoppages to grasp and control your breath.
Everyone were so proud your determination and will-power (:
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You weren't much conscious in the car as you began to start dozing off every now and then, but very vigilant to the surroundings and movements as you scoffed at Marc to "SLOW DOWN and DRIVE CAREFULLY" on the roads cos' he was literally doing his speeding. I was seated in front thankfully cos' then, nobody could see me Smilling away during the journey.
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At Aunt's place, everyone were so happy that you came, the house was so crowded with people, your favourite kids running around, cuddling next to you. You sat at the sofa quietly and dozed off without realizing, I turned back and kept stealing glances back at you to make sure you were alright and there you were, oblivious to the surrounding as you fell asleep...
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On the 13th of Feb, which was just the day you went to the Hosp, I came over after school to visit you at your place. Ah ma and Marcus told me you refused to take the medications and you didnt want to eat. Marcus sniggered that he got a good scolding from you! cos' you just refuse to have your dinner. Hence he urged me to go in your room and try my luck to pursuade you to have some food.
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It wasn't my intention cos' I'd been through the same situation whereby my late-grandma was so reluctant to eat because whatever she eats she will puke them out due to her weak stomach, and the pills made her lose her appetite. Clearly I understood that there is really no point forcing you to eat if you don't want to, you're my senior so I respect your decisions since its your own health and you know what you are doing...
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Marcus told me his stomach was rumbling and he badly need to eat then, so I took the risk( afraid of getting scolded from you) and went to your room.
You were resting on your bed watching the Chinese Star Movies, and apparently you slipped into dreamland. So gently I took your hands and nudge you...
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Slowly you opened your eyes, look at me, and smiled. I asked you if you were hungry and should I go down and get you your dinner since everyone's hungry..
Then you asked me if I was going down then to get, and I just asked you, "How about Fish Porridge?"
You looked at me and said "okay.." At that moment, I was pleasantly glad.
Before I could continue, Ah ma came in and said the same thing cos she thought I might have failed my task. haha... Apparently I have succeeded.
Left the room and got downstairs with Marc, headed to the market.
That was the Last Conversation I had with you, Uncle.
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Though its only a small lil time we share since I came into house and spoke to you so directly and personally, you're like a part of my life cos' you're Marc's dad and someone else special to me.
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I'll keep you close to my heart. You must be up in Heaven right now, enjoying a carefree and painless time, no longer suffering in the mortal world.
Uncle, while you are up there, could you please watch over your family, especially Aunt Marie, Ah ma, your son and daughter? Bless them with the strength to carry on and be strong.. And bless them with a smooth and healthy life. Watch over them... You're badly missed by all of us. Rest In Peace.
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I Love You.
and Everyone else Loves you very much too.
Yours Lovingly,
Elsie.
Blogged @ Sunday, February 17, 2008
