♥ Friday, November 24, 2006
I thought today was going to get better somehow since its a Friday and you know how Friday night meant so much to me.Woke up at noon just to know that my dearest May's down with a high fever and cant attend school. Got greeted by Michelle, my bro's girlfriend, whom actually stayed over to work. Then they left for school and wearily I got downstairs for breakfast and my usual chats with the 3 oinks.So far so good. Watched Tv till 3.40 and I started panicking for school. Hailed a cab and must I say, the cabbie was really chatty and nice. I love chatty uncles. You know. my whole day was in chaos because 3 computers in maya lab REFUSE to abide me. I was getting so fucked up that the tutor saw my annoyance. LOOK, IM SORRY.My day was really bad, some probably thought I was a suicidal or a nutcase as I slowly made my way to the train station. You dont have to stay and wait for me after lab, why dont you just GO ahead with the rest? I dont need you by myside to make me tear.If others could feel my pain im sure you could too.That simply meant that you didnt at all care. I thought o maybe you would call or even leave a message to clarify yourself for today, i thought you know whats going on. Hey, maybe you know whats going on, opps I forgot, sorry. You simply dont give a shit. Why? becos' you NEVER EVER HAD the damn initiatives to work things out.The road down to the station was oddly cold and painstaking. Cold becos' it rained earlier on, pain because I know there's NOBODY there for me afterall.As dumb as i could be, I thought you would chase after me and come talk to me, or maybe explain that you have to go or whatever it would be for you, or maybe a phone call? or a cheap 5cents sms?I've actually waited, the whole time. Till then I decided to call you and do some confirmation.Oh yes, happily you were at home. IM SO SORRY TO DISTURB.ITS OKAY, IM JUST BEING ANNOYING AND FOOLISH DOWN HERE.Called May in the station because somehow she's the only one who knows about my everything, i thank god for her.I dont understand why I had to cry in the station. People probably thought I was mad or something. You see? My boyfriend simply doesnt care if I were to go missing suddenly, or die somewhere, or I were to date another guy. Its not a 100% attention I ask for in this relationship thing, I just needed that someone to at least do something, or prove to me he cared or at least Im SOMEONE to him.Fel told me yesterday that there's no point in me being upset, find another guy who would shower you with love everyday and satisfy your basic needs. Because he's a jerk and he doesnt worth the tears i shed and the energy I lost in venting my disappointment and anger on the tracks and paddings.This is not going to be the case, the problem is, I still LOVE HIM and I do not want a breakup.And Im not seeking another male. Although it sounds good.Anyway. I'm just nothing in his eyes. If he needs me, he would call. If he wants to see me, he would make the EFFORT.你就是我的唯一， 我不想失去你。
Blogged @ Friday, November 24, 2006
