As I took the last walk down the memory lane, everything seemed like deja vu.

I ponder. Somethings are meant to happen, in the past, in the future, its all destined. Im just a human, Im barely live enough yet I wanted to give up this life. Its cruel, its unfair to those who loved me. Who knows, maybe my lifespan is pure short in prediction.

I dont really have a goal in mind, as fickle-minded as anyone could be.
I dont really know Who I am, where will I go, where I will be or what will I be doing 10 years from now.

Even now, I feel totally lost. Its all School, Work and Home.
Was walking to the train station with Beng today, we were saying how SIAN today really is.

How the sun shined mercilessly through the pathetic drizzle and made the day feel really humid.
And that how much work we had and how tired we were the whole week.
The feelings' like,

You know you have got work to do,
You know you have to do it,
But your body tells you "Im tired"
Emotionally and Physically.
As for me, this was what I actually felt the whole week, its an agony.

"I dont want to stay in school, nor do I want to go anywhere else, nor do I want to go home"
what do you want to do?
"I DONT KNOW EITHER, I dont feel like doing anything but at the same time I want to do something."
where do you want to go?
"Anywhere but home, especially at this time"
okay so lets go Bugis
"again? no mood to move, lethargic. Lets not go anywhere."
so you want to stay in school?
" no, I want to go somewhere I dont know where, Im not going to stay."

See. all these nonsensical chute of rubbish kept hanging loosely in my head. Its killing me! i dont know what i want. I dont even have a direction in daily lives, why bother asking me about my future.

I know I need to chill.
Yet I just cant find the time to chill.
And who's going to chill with me?

Sure, I have plenty of friends, but somehow nobody seemed free whenever I need them. Strange isn't it.

Friday is coming. Samuel's been chatting up with me, LETS GO NA LIANG.
Feel like drinking and ease my pain inside for once. Let me feel good and really, i dont want to think about anything anymore.

Lets drink it up! *A toast to a Loser like me!*