♥ Sunday, June 04, 2006
there are so many things i want to blog about but right now.I'm feeling so awful and heartbroken.My beloved gran... hospitalized since last thursday cos' she had a fall and fractured her hips.You know, she already suffered from kneecap worn-out problem and experiencing pain from each short walk with her walking guide.. now with that fall and fractured hips. For a 87year old gran, I feel pain and devastation from her.plus her old ailments and medical history of Heart and Kidney problems, water in the lungs, ...She's very weak.. cant eat much and puke twice as much instead... no food intakes, not absorbing any nutrients and not enough fluid in her body. She weighs only 42ky in her last visit.Now she's only wrapped in her thin skin, and looked extremely fragile and delicated. she's obviously less than 40 right now..O lord.. please show mercy.LICHUEN, YOU'RE SUCH AN UNFILLIAL GRAND-DAUGHTER! COULD YOU JUST VISIT YOUR GRANNY MORE OFTEN RIGHT AT THIS CRUCIAL MOMENT?!I saw the bloodshot and teary eyes from my parents after I came out from the bathroom as the doctor left the room... Things are def. not looking good.All of us kept mum. i dared not make any noise..Mom came into my room... she told me not to tell my brother anything about granny right now at this moment in time. He's having his exams now in Monash and she doesnt want him to worry so much and instead, focus on his exams. I nodded.Mom obviously had been crying. I heard her muffled voice and I read her eyes. Im feeling so helpless..I got up and went into my second brother's room, sat on his bed and asked him what exactly the doctor said earlier on...He told me that Gran's condition..is not very positive...her organs are failing.Blood counts are decreasing and blood pressure..needless to say... pretty low.Obviously, she has no energy, she dont eat, she wont eat she cant eat! what can we do?? I so feel like breaking down.Now the doctors are not placing their focus on her legs, instead, on her organs.. I got this very bad hinch that something bad is going to happen. (touchwood!..).The cold hard ambience of this place tells me so..I dare not sleep.. much less to close my eyes.. I'm afraid to hear any sudden phone calls in the middle of the night.it reminded me of how I'd lost my beloved Grandma in 2002. ...im sure only claudia would understand how i feel right now. Been smsing him the whole day, but I didnt tell him how critical the situation was.firstly, He's having his exams tmr and the whole week.secondly, what can he do even if he know, i dont want him to worry for me worrying for her and etc.thirdly. Its the hospital, I dont want to keep fondling with my phone right infront of them like I dont care about my granny..PHONES. PLEASE DO NOT RING!!I'm very afraid. even right now, i feel the steaming tears welling up. please dont, please stop it.I WILL AND I PROMISE, I WILL VISIT HER EVERYDAY AND SPEND MY HOURS WITH HER, EVEN WITH ALL MY HWS. GRANNY, STAY STRONG! FOR OUR SAKE! PLEASE!GOD O GOD. PLEASE WATCH OVER HER I BEG YOU.IM BEGGING YOU.
Blogged @ Sunday, June 04, 2006
